Breaking my Own Glass Ceiling

SO I have a parcel notice on my desk right now, it says I can pick up my spanking new skates today. I'm so excited....and kinda terrified. I've had 2 herniated discs in the past 6 years, got me some untreatable bone spurs on my neck vertebrae, and a lifetime of conditioning to look for and find the negative potential in all situations (thanks Mom!). I've spent the last year telling myself and anyone who will listen that I won't/can't play derby, my physiotherapist won't allow it, I'm just planning to skate for the fun and fitness of it. And yet here I am, waiting for my new blue skates and dreaming of hipchecking those I love the best. I even came up with a skater name, just in case (Chub Soda, #355ml :). This is all part of the new paradigm I seem to be entering, where the things I knew for sure are suddenly in question, the things I ran from or rejected are suddenly intriguing, and the things I thought I wanted are suddenly looking like the dregs of a thrift store clearance rack. Injecting a little "why not?" into my decision-making has been freeing, if a little vertiginous.

And how does this all tie in with roller derby? Because this is a collective of people who make it safe to explore that which I fear. I've already got some outstandingly supportive friends, but it's the general attitude in derby that has helped pull me out of my crab shell. I can aim for any goal, approach any person, take on any challenge, and nobody tries to talk me out of it. I can even wear a pink mustache while I do it and no one bats an eye! So while it's still officiating that warms my blood, and I don't have a particular desire to duke it out on the track, it's enough to know that I can. That I'll be met with smiles, high fives and the kind of  approbation some people never find in their life. Maybe there are some things I know for sure....

Making Peace with Pink

I have spent the majority of my years loathing the colour pink. At one time my disdain for the hue was so strong that even a gloriously rosy sunset left me unmoved. Pink meant girlishness, which meant weakness, which was anathema to me. You can probably guess I was not raised to equate femininity with strength. Everything has changed. Because of roller derby and my work as an official, pink to me now is powerful, womanly, playful, knowledgeable. In short, everything I aim to be in my life. And I look hella good in it!

I began the roller derby NSO (non-skating official) journey just this year, early 2011, when my friends on the local team took me out for a drink, thrust a manual in my hands and "asked" me to be their head NSO. Apparently when they needed someone who could be loud and bossy, my name came up. I like to think that they also recognized my passion for communication, continual learning and inclusion, all of which are necessary in order to be an effective head NSO. I will discuss these qualities and more in future posts, because that is the aim of this blog: to record my experiences and education in roller derby officialdom. For now, suffice to say that I am outing myself as a lover of all things pink. Except for pink jellybeans, those are just gross.